DLTQ

Last week, I was at the hospital, for another check-up at the eye department, as well as another injection in the left eye-ball. 🥶

The eye doctor gave me grave news. My eyes – Both of them! – are considerably worse than during the last check-up.

My blood pressure is normalized, thanks to my medicine. Check.

But why… why are my eyes doing worse then?

We do not know. I am working with specialists.

This – clearly – sucks. Sucks donkey balls.

But such times calls for decisions, priorities.

I have decided to terminate my small spare time gig, my spare time company. It is deleted, as of today September 30th 2026. My website www.sverm.ai is still there for now, but it does not accept new customers.

A phase of my life is over. A new one arrives.

What that new one will bring, I do not know. But I intend to exercise more, and read more physical books. To read, while I still can 😎

What if something we take for granted is taken away?

Electricity, internet, or the ability to see properly?

Becoming older is no joke, and even though 48 is no age to talk about, I do feel that things are different.

As I write this on the phone, I am keeping my left eye shut, because ghe blurriness when I use it to see is too much, and the eye also starts to feel slightly uncomfortable.

It is Friday June 12th 2026. 01:41 AM. I just woke up. And … yeah. The seeing was weird. Is weird.

At 06:30 AM I will travel towards the hospital for my eye check-up, so that feels good. Hopefully we will begin to have some answers, but at the same time, I know that it will take time. I need to be patient.

But one clear consequence of this, is that i hqve completely stopped reading books. I Love to read… and now it is just too uncomfortable. So i use audiobooks instead.

I will update this blog later.

Yesterday, Saturday June 6th 2026, I went back to the optician for a eye check-up. It was during my first check-up there last month that she told me that the pictures of my retina showed signs of high blood pressure. That led to a cascade of events, and I am now in queue for a check-up at a cardiologist, I am taking medicine twice a day, and I am actually currently on 50% sick leave. The blood pressure Has gone down since that 187 over 158 first reading, but it is still too high.

So, the optician took new photos of the retina yesterday, and she saw even more of the swellings in the retina that she had seen the first time. She then asked if I wanted to see for myself. I said yes, and I saw on the monitor the before and after photos side by side. A month ago vs now.

It was a surreal experience, a weird sensation to see the actual proof. It… became so much less abstract. Yes, I do check my blood pressure every morning along with my medicine (one pill against the high blood pressure, and one high dose vitamin D to get my levels up, the blood test showed it to be very low – 16), but this hit different.

To SEE the retina. The before image with ONE swelling, a red little area on the retina, and the after image, the image from yesterday, with the 6-8 swellings, the red dots have spread out.

It was actually a bit shocking.

I was not afraid. That was not the feeling. It was more a feeling of – wow, this IS my new reality, swellings in my retina due to high blood presure.

The optician said that she wanted an eye doctor to look at me, and she called the hospital in Drammen, which is the nearest hospital with an eye department. The doctor there looked at the images she sent, and they said that they would take a consultation with me next week. Since the optician could not send the referral electronically, but only through snail mail/postsl service, I said that I could take the train to Drammen and bring it to the hospital. She agreed, so I did.

Tomorrow I have a new appointment with my own doctor, and we will then discuss my fitness for work. I HATE being on sick leave, but I suspect that the 50% will continue. I just hope the doctor does not put me on 100% sick leave, that I would just … walk around at home and … wait? Wait for what? THAT would give me high stress 😂

Seeing those swelling areas on my retina was much more visual than the Numbers of my blood pressure. Numbers are numbers; red swelling on my own fricking retina is something else.

Emotionally, I feel ok actually. This IS my current situation, snd I roll with the punches. Doctor appointment tomorrow, then hospital visit when they have time for me.