It is Friday.

A friday. A friday in a string of fridays, about 52 per year, about 520 per decade.

This Friday, May 31st 2024, is when I thought about blogging again, here on this olde website, which has been there like a rope around my neck for many years. Last month I almost let the domain name registration relapse; not renew it. Get rid of it.

But that’s the whole point, for me. Don’t Lose the Question(s). And here I am, on this Friday night, at 22:29 CEST, and I wonder: Did I lose some of my questions?

What drove me earlier, fueled my passions? And how is that compared to how things are now?

I remember March 2018 clearly. I decided, one evening, to “get involved”. I spent so much energy for the next months in 2018 that my wife’s patience grew incredibly thin. “You are never home”, she said. And she was right. I knew it.

Well, she moved on in 2020 and now lives with her new partner. That is fine, life does go on, nothing lasts forever.

My blogging period certainly did not last forever. My passion for blogging was HUGE in 2000, and then I got more busy with other things for a while, and then from 2004 it went all over. And in 2005 I started on wordpress.

19 years ago.

This evening I have not done enough reading. So I will read a few hours now.

(blogging, just one entry at the time, to try to get into the habit again)

To blog or not to blog

I am 46 years old; and I started blogging in 2000, using first one tool, and then over the next years other tools. Back then, at the start of 2000, I was 21 years old, and all of this was very new then.

But now, in 2024, this is not new. This is not exciting. The way I consume information is not through posting, writing, pushing electrons out there. Instead, to a much larger extent, I read. I read and I reflect. By myself. In my Day One journal on my phone, and in my physical diaries.

Whether I should blog or not is the big question. I really don’t feel the need for it.
[Question 1 to ChatGPT 4o / Google Gemini Advanced]

Personal motivation
My motivation for blogging was several things:
Finding connections
Reflection through writing
Seeing dots in the landscape

But once the connections were found, and the dots were clear, I lost interest. I moved on. I had the most excited phase of blogging from 2004-2006 or so. Way Back Machine has quite a few saves over the years; 268 snapshots. Here is one from July 16th, 2005 or September 28th, 2011. The latter has a sentiment close to May 29th 2024 (this blog entry):

I have for some months planned to re-start, finding a new path, a new set of themes to cover, improve my language, improve the readworthiness of my entries.

But at the end of the day, I never prioritized that. I never went down and spent those days it took to get a nice design here, or figure out how to plan my future entries, or how to enhance my language. At the end of the day, this site was simply sitting there, empty.

So I guess this is me saying that this is how it will be, for some time.

September 28th 2011

Why bother?

Now AI solutions are all over the place.

Why put this out there?

[Question 2 to ChatGPT 4o / Google Gemini Advanced]

What would a meaningful and fulfilling blogging experience look like for me in 2024?

  • Envision what would make blogging worthwhile and satisfying at this stage in your life. Think about potential topics, formats, or approaches that could reignite your passion for blogging. Consider what you want to achieve through blogging and how it aligns with your current interests and goals.
ChatGPT 4o

Well, there IS no meaningful and fulfilling blogging experience for me in 2024, as I see it. Not because the technology has changed, really, but because of how I have changed. Me.

There is no simple solution. And it is 10 PM CEST here now, on this Wednesday night, and I will turn to reading instead.

Process video (22 mins, no sound)

Edit: I just watched this interview. It gave me a lot of thoughts.

“A map is not the territory”

The old saying: “A map is not the territory it represents, but, if correct, it has a similar structure to the territory, which accounts for its usefulness.” (Source: Alfred Korzybski, Science and Sanity, p. 58, [via])

Mapping my mind through the output I create does not really do justice to my mind. But at the same time, there is a usefulness to it, because I produce, and I feel that there is a “before” and an “after”; that there is a delta before my involvement/action, and after.

But as I got older, I became more and more cynical, and less of a believer that my actions will make a big change.

I am now 45 years old. How will I view my past of 25 years ago when I am 70? How do I now, aged 45, view my actions from when I was 20, in 1998/1999?

1998, the year I turned 20 in the month of March. 1999. January 1999. What was that month like, this month that was 25 years ago? How about January 15th 1999?

January 1999, with Friday January 15th 1999 highlighted

The Janury 15th of 1999, 25 years ago, was a Friday. I was 21 years old. I had almost come to the time when I had given up my writing ambitions; those loose ambitions that did not lead to much output of consequence.

January 1999. I wrote a diary. Yes. I was very active with my diary those years. I don’t have easily access to those 25 year old journals now. But I wrote, I thought, I read, I talked, I met new people.

Fast forward 25 years. Many pages of writing. Many GB of data. Many days of living later. It is now January 15th 2024:

January 2024, with Monday January 15th 2024 highlighted

In 25 years, it will be January 15th, 2049.

January 2049, with Friday January 15th 2049 highlighted

In those 25 years, I will look back at my mid 40s. I may laugh, I may cry, I may be proud of something I will do in 2024, or 2027.

22:06. This minute will never return. But can I use that minute to write a new idea, a new thought? A new thought among the billions and billions of thoughts that – consciously or unconsciously – run through my head during my lifetime?

One reason why I write a diary is to measure my expectations vs the results. I go to a cinema. I write about it in my Day One app. And I write: “Exp: 5/6”, and after I write: “Res: 5/6” or whatever. 22:07. That minute was gone. A new minute is here.

But the minutes until January 15th 2049 arrives?

  • 789,004,800 seconds
  • 13,150,080 minutes
  • 219,168 hours
  • 9132 days
  • 1304 weeks and 4 days (source)

So. I have many minutes, hours, days, to create my own maze, and to map the things in new ways. Some maps will be accurate descriptions of my mood at that minute, day, year, while others will be like reverse images, inverted, upside-down. Reality distorted into some fantasy.

Distorted. 22:13. Tomorrow I have another performance. And I look at new constellations, and new relationships that build, and new themes and ideas.

22:15. Time to read some more. Enough output – for now.

That era has passed

In the 2000 movie “In the Mood for Love”, directed by Wong Kar-wai (who I have heard about a lot but never watched any of his movies), towards the end of the movie, there is this writing on the screen:

The writing, 那個時代已過去、屬於那個時代的一切都不存在了., means – according to google translate: “That era has passed, and everything belonging to that era no longer exists.”

I watched this movie for the first time today. It struck me as incredibly beautiful. Why did I not see this movie before?

A passed era. We may remember glimpses of it, or we may re-enact it in our dreams, or write about it, conjuring the bygone times into reality once again, like Kar-wai did with this movie depicting the Hong Kong of the 1960s.

But there is also a lot to say about the visuals of this movie, which I see from reading also is something of a signature move by the director. To have a particular view on the visuals.

I will explore Wong Kar-wai’s movies more. There seems to be 10 movies by him:

1988As Tears Go Byn
1990Days of Being Wildn
1994Chungking Expressn
1994Ashes of Timen
1995Fallen Angelsn
1997Happy Togethern
2000In The Mood for Lovey
2007My Blueberry Nightsn
2013The Grandmastern
2023Blossoms Shanghain
List of Wong Kar-wai’s movies and whether I have seen them (will be updated)

Hong Kong is one of my favourite cities in the whole world. I visited it first time in 2000 (I had a gf from Hong Kong from 1999-2004), and the city created it’s own impact on me. More on that another time.

Movie: Menus-Plaisirs – Les Troisgros

Tonight, I watched my first movie by Frederick Wiseman – his 2023 movie called “Menus-Plaisirs – Les Troisgros”. Here is the movie trailer:

Movie trailer

I watched the movie at Cinemateket here in Oslo, which is a cinema that I did not start to visit before December 2023, even though I have lived in Oslo since 2009.

At 4 hours long, I was worried that I would get bored during this movie. But no, I did not. It was mesmerizing. It was wonderful.

A quote from the New York Times review of the movie:

Wiseman’s approach is analytical and dialectical, and only seemingly straightforward. As is customary with his movies, “Menus-Plaisirs” doesn’t have music, voice-over narration, onscreen descriptive text, chapter titles or any other standard hand-holding. Wiseman instead uses images of specific physical spaces — the movie opens on the Roanne railway station and then cuts to its bustling, sumptuously stocked farmer’s market — that immediately establish a strong sense of place. In other words, he grounds you in the world of the movie and then, face by face, shot by shot, scene by scene, steadily fills in its details.


This “sense of place” was important for me – to really get into the flow of the environment at this 3 Michelin stars facility, and how the different people who worked there behaved towards each other.

One of my favourite scenes in the film was the situation where one of the cooks had made an error, and the Chef then showed him in two different books the section he could read in those books to gain the information about that procedure. I loved it so much.

I will watch more Wiseman movies in the future.

My reading

In January 2020, I became one of the founders of a small Facebook group here in Norway, for people who have a certain reading goal for the year. The idea came from one of my friends from my uni years, AK, and I joined in the project.

It has now been 4 years going, 2020-2023, and it is in it’s 5th year. It is a rather simple group. Every member has a thread for the year – a reading thread – and in the original post on that thread you write your reading goal. I for instance have the goal of reading 50 books per year. And then I comment on the entry for every new book. My structure in the comments is for instance this (translated to English):

Book 4. Finished January 10th. Dice roll: 6

Geert Mak: “The Many Lives of Jan Six: A Portrait of an Amsterdam Dynasty” (Amazon)
Norwegian version, audiobook.

This was my first Geert Mak book, and it really gave me a taste to read more by that author. This book gave a really good insight into Amsterdam history over 4 centuries, and the dynasty of the Six family over the years.
A well written book, translated into Norwegian in a manner which did not annoy me, and I liked the voice of the narrator

I really did finish this audio book yesterday, January 10th, and I am now working my way through book 5 for 2024.

We know that gamification works, and my mind is pretty well matched to things like this – having a goal, and then working towards that goal, during the days, the weeks, the months. So, for 2024, my goal is once again to have read 50 books before the end of the year.

I have a semi-updated spreadsheet with the overview of the books I have read in these years since 2020, and my goal is to update that more often.

Earlier in my life, I still read – but I did not methodically update a list of what I read, when I finished it, and give a review of what I had read. My estimate is that during my 20s and 30s I read on average 25 books a year. That is now doubled – I have managed to achieve my reading goal for all the years since 2020 except 2022 – and I aim to keep it at that level for the coming years.

Reading really just takes up more of my time these last years, and I like it a lot. I watch hardly any linear TV at all, and I rarely follow new series on streaming series. I go to the cinema quite a lot, though, and that is an activity that I prioritize.

It is January 11th. The new year is hardly so new anymore. But I find myself thinking about a bit more often, and tonight, on this Thursday night, I write again.

In December of last year, I did write about “Questions for 2024”, and I did not follow up that blog entry. I will do that now.

I guess my context needs to be updated here. After the sudden separation and later divorce from my wife in 2020 (we had been married since 2010 and been a couple since 2008), I did quite a lot of soul searching; seeking my own path, and made some changes. In January 2022, I left the IT industry, where I had been working since 2009, and I started working as a project manager in a big organization here in Norway. In January 2021, I made the decision to cut off contact with my mother. First the decision was for half a year, and after that half-year it became a permanent decision. I will not go too much into details here, and I am not a victim, but my mother was a fiend, and she did a lot to destroy her children. In November 2023, after my step-father K. died, I also got rid of my mother’s surname, Monsen, and replaced it with my father’s surname – Pettersen – as my new middle name. So I went from Raymond Monsen Kristiansen to Raymond Pettersen Kristiansen in November 2023. I am still transitioning into getting used to this new name; I have had that former name since I was 16 years old, in 1994.

My son, born in 2010, is now 13 years old, and he lives with me during the weekdays/schooldays and with his mother in the weekends. I have a good relationship with my ex-wife, and we have a decent collaboration about his upbringing.

I still work as project manager in that organization, and I will most likely stay there. When the weather is nice, I can walk from our apartment at home to the office in 23 minutes, which is a nice walk through this part of Oslo, the capital of Norway – where I have lived since 2009.

A lot has happened since 2000, when I was 21 years old and started blogging on LiveJournal. Or later started videoblogging in late 2004, or did other social media things. I have grown less interested in broadcasting my life to the world. I have also gained a slightly more introverted personality; I am not so eager to attend gathering and meetings as I was earlier, even though I do for instance at work organize conferences, seminars, workshops etc.

I live in the Briskeby area of Oslo, which is situated in the middle between the Royal Gardens and the Vigeland park – two great parks which are good to walk through during most of the year. I can walk to either park in about 8 minutes. I have lived in this area since Februar 2021; almost 3 years now. I aim to live in this part of Oslo until my son is finished with 10th grade at the school (he attends Uranienborg school, where he is now at 7th grade). After 10th grade, I will most likely move to another part of Oslo which is less expensive – Briskeby is quite an exclusive part of Oslo.

So. Yes. Reading. I read a lot, and I enjoy it so much. I have also started enjoying travelling more, and my two trips to Tanzania in 2023 (for a month in July, and 1 week in December for Christmas/New Year) were great. I have also become active in Engineers Without Borders here in Norway, and I will start getting more involved in different projects, most of them on the African continent.

I may write more here on DLTQ soon. I… actually hope so. That I will get into the habit of this again. The self-reflective praxis is good for me, and is different than from my different physical or app diaries.

Tuning in / tuning out

It is the first week of 2024. A new year of reading, for me, but also – perhaps – a new year of writing. Writing blog entries here on

DLTQ – Don’t Lose the Question – has been around as my name for my online writing since 2002, when I was active at TIG in my spare time while living and working in Brussels, and later my wordpress blog at since 2005 (Wayback machine).

It is now 24 years since I first blogged, on LiveJournal, which had then recently released. It was early 2000. I had just taken my first inter-continental trip – I visited Hong Kong for three weeks in January 2000 to visit my then gf. I was 21 years old, turning 22 in march, and I was eager to read, learn, connect, get involved. Tune in, so to speak.

Between 2000 and 2009, I wrote a lot of blog entries, and I also created a lot of videos during my years of vlog exploration (2004-2009). But in July 2009, my shift changed, and I started writing less.

I am quite binary in my engagement in things. I either tune in, or I tune out. I have been involved in many arenas over the years, and seen a lot of processes.

2023 became a year where I decided to visit the African continent for the first time, and I decided to go for Tanzania in east Africa. I went there in July 2023 for a month, and for a week in December 2023. This is connected both to a personal interest in understanding the African countries more (it will take a lot of time), as well as being a being more effective in my work as a volunteer at EWB Norway.

Ever since my voluntary work at Canal Africa, a local TV station for the African community in Copenhagen in Denmark in 2007-2009, I have had Africa somewhere in my consciousness. But it took some more years before I finally went in 2023.

It is now 2024. I work at an organization for engineers and technologists here in Norway. I am active in EWB. My son is now 13 years old. I live in central Oslo where my son stays with me during the weekdays and with his mother in the weekends.

Since 2020, I have had the goal of reading 50 books per year, and so far I have managed to do that 3 out of 4 years. I really have a tendency to read more and spend less time scrolling the social media.

There isn’t a central theme in this blog entry. I just basically wish to update a bit, and to hopefully get back into the habit of writing here. Even though I am much less interested in the whole publishing for the open internet than I was earlier. I guess I have changed since 2005.

Wishing you all a great 2024!

(Process video; 19min)

Questions for 2024

I have not written here since June. It does not mean that I have not written, or reflected. It just means that I have not done it here, on this site. – Don’t Lose the Question.

What questions did I ponder over in 2023? And what questions will I keep at my center in 2024?

As this year approaches it’s end, I think about that, and I will return to DLTQ before the end of this year with some possible answers.

Planning / doing / reviewing

11 days ago, Friday June 2nd 2023, was when I decided to review my previous summer plan, and change it completely around. Based on a strong feeling, I knew that I needed to go far outside my comfort zone; I needed to travel to Tanzania. I wrote about that here.

I have never been on the African continent, and I am in my process now of getting small glimpses into it, glimpses into the continent, through Tanzania as my first gate. First, but not last.

I know that the trip will be a new experience. That is a given. My first trip to India, sometime in my future, will also be a new experience, to put it mildly. But I also know that somewhere in this new horizon, and new experience, there will also be a new set of PDR – Planning / Doing / Reviewing. Old concepts and assumptions may crumble. Old views of what an African society is like may crumble. Or it may be confirmed. Confirmed in my eyes, that is.

I have not blogged so much lately. That may change when I get there on June 30th, but it may also continue. In either case, I will try to plan ever smaller challenges for myself to dive into.

But I now know that I will also go to Mbeya. I will avoid Arusha and other safari-loaded places. I may stay in Mbeya for 10 days or so during my time in Tanzania. The Mbeya region has 1.7 million inhabitants. Who are they? What are their dreams, hopes, fears, nightmares? What do they aim for in their society? What is the future of this city, this region, this part of the country?

I leave for Tanzania on Thursday June 29th. It is now June 13th. I will be leaving in 16 days. It feels so wonderful.

But in the meantime: A ton of work. And I will do what I can do plan/do/review. But in small cycles. Iterative movements.

(process video)